The first meetings can be overwhelmed with surprises. You can leave thinking that you will meet the love of your life and return with regrets.
It got even more tricky with dating sites. You may have the misfortune to see in front of you someone completely different from the one you saw on the site.
And even if you end up meeting someone you love, that in itself evokes a panoply of anxieties: What if he or she doesn’t like my jokes? Have I talked too much about myself? What if he or she hates the wine you have chosen?
Fortunately, I will give us tips and advice from some experts that should make things easier. Here are 6 things to never do during a first date.
1. Do not run away after 15 minutes
When you run out of talking points and realize that you haven’t even drunk half your glass of cheap red wine, it can be tempting to say the evening is over.
In other words, don’t go away without saying goodbye. According to psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, this is one thing to avoid.
“Unless you have a real emergency, it’s nasty. I am always amazed when people think that going out of your way is a nice way of saying “no thanks.” It is cowardice. ” If things don’t go as planned, at least have the decency to stay for a drink.
2. Avoid criticism
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book, or more precisely in the controversial Neil Strauss manual, The Game, which encourages men to criticize women for seducing them. It’s a hideous trick that Strauss called “negation.” “
Don’t do that, says Madelaine Mason, a relationship expert who strongly advises not to engage in some sort of psychological gameplay on a first date.
3. Don’t talk about the future
When you are on your first date and you get on well with someone, you may find yourself planning your wedding in your head when you take a toilet break.
But as fun, as it may be the fantasy about your future with a complete stranger, expert Jo Hemmings advises you not to let your spirit run away with you when it comes to making plans, whether for invite them to your own wedding or ask them to come to a barbecue next weekend.
“Focus on the present, rather than suggesting that she might join you for an event later today.” “Even if you like them at first, it’s too early, it’s too early.” “
4. Don’t start asking them about their CV
There is a scene where the character of Katherine Heigl is at the first date with a man she has just met and, a few minutes after sitting down, Heigl asks where he sees himself in 10 years.
“Never consider the first date as an interview,” says Hemmings. You may want to know everything, but some questions are too many for a first date. “Ask questions but in the form of a conversation. “
5. Do not bring a friend
It may seem obvious, but it is not advisable to bring a friend to a date. While it may be helpful to get someone’s advice for a first date, don’t take them with you for the meeting.
This is not a recommended attitude according to Mason, a relationship expert. “It is embarrassing and very discouraging for the person you meet. “
6. Don’t ask for favors
As tempting as it may be, don’t exploit someone you’ve just met, says Mason. It’s just not the right time. “Before meeting my husband, I had several first meetings with people who thought they could use this time to tell me about their woes,” recalls Mason. “During an appointment, I had to tell the person that I was not working. “